I have been so blessed to receive many letters of encouragement, and a lot of friendly advice from my fellow Above Rubies readers! My days are so very busy ladies, and try as I might, I have not been able to personally respond to the many emails I have received since the article was released. I still hope to do so, and am asking you all to be patient with me. I will answer a few letters each day as time allows. I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness to me. Your words encourage me and keep me going, just as so many of you have written to say that I have encouraged you with my story. It is truly a circle of blessing for which I am grateful to play a part!

It is so wonderful to know that there are many families out there who are a lot like ours. As many of you have expressed to me, it feels so isolating at times to have children with special needs. Much to our dismay, we are truly the outcasts of society…unable to attend fancy restaurants, crowded or noisy places, and even some family events. Not to mention we NEVER get a vacation! Yes, we learned long ago that autism goes along no matter where we go, and sometimes it is just better to stay at home! I guess that knowing there are others who struggle with these issues helps to ease some of the isolating feelings. We are not alone after all ladies!!

So take heart…hopefully I will be able to respond to each of your letters in time. We do have a lot going on in our home right now, but each email is important to me and I appreciate them all. In the meantime, keep us in your prayers as we persevere in healing our children from autism and its related disorders. We believe that through natural remedies and the hand of God guiding us, we will be successful!

For all of you who are struggling in similar ways, keep this thought in mind….”Your days may be difficult and the challenges tough, but you’re TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED because God’s grace is ENOUGH!”

Hugs…

It seems like we are always busy lately… isn’t everyone these days? Running from thing to thing and place to place trying to accomplish everything in one day. It’s hard to remember to be still before the Lord, and to give our burdens to Him when we are feeling tired and overwhelmed. There have been days in the past when I feel like I just can’t handle one more chore, question, assignment or interruption! I’m sure that most busy moms will agree with me on this. However, I have learned a few secrets to managing a household filled with chaos, and I am feeling more confident in my God given ability to handle things these days. Here are a few tips that have helped me to stay sane:

1. I like to spend time in prayer as early in the day as possible. Sometimes I even pray at 3am when the baby wakes up if I am feeling alert enough to do so. Starting my day with the Lord beside me is always a good thing!




2. I make a daily list of things I hope to accomplish. I include each child’s homeschooling time with me, chores I need to do, phone calls or emails to return (I have a ton of these and it takes me awhile, so please be patient if you are waiting for a response), naptime (essential when I am pregnant), errands or appointments (I try to keep these on one day only), and what I am serving for dinner that evening. I enjoy crossing it off as I do each duty, and at the end of the day I can show Kevin what I did all day long! (Which is not always easy to see since keeping the house neat is always a huge challenge…)




3. I try really hard to keep my voice quiet and gentle. This is a true challenge because kids with autism don’t always pay attention to what you are saying. Sometimes I have to call again and again before they respond, and I do yell when there is danger and I need to stop a child quickly before they get hurt. But you should see how upset they get when I raise my voice! The boys have been known to run from the room covering their ears, or to yell back and throw things if they are really overwhelmed…and then I have to discipline on top of it all! So that is why I try really hard to be quiet, and ask the Lord daily to give me the patience that I often lack.




4. I try to stick to a routine as much as possible so the children know what to expect. This isn’t always easy, and I don’t believe in scheduling every little thing (like breastfeeding), but I do try to have meals at the same time, and they generally know what is expected of them at any given moment of the day.




5. I am learning to be at peace with the mess as much as possible. Although I’ve never been accused of being a neat freak, I do appreciate order. It is not easy to home school the children and keep the house neat all day too! The little ones need something to do, and usually blocks and toys are strewn all around while we are busy “doing school”. I use to hate this, but now I embrace it because it means they are not watching television all day. So now we have scheduled “pick – ups” of their assigned areas…one before lunchtime, one right before Daddy comes home (oh how he hates to come home to a mess), and one before going to bed. This way they don’t feel like they are cleaning all day, and we still get to enjoy an orderly house…at least part-time!




6. I am learning to have the joy of the Lord in my heart to overcome my tendency towards a negative attitude. When I am happy, they are happy…usually. Although teenage-hood has thrown an occasional curve ball to this theory, most of the time it is true. Having the joy of Jesus means having the ability to be happy and thankful no matter what your circumstances may be at any given time. Although you may not be thrilled about what is going on, you can rest assured that this is God’s will for you at the present time. Remember, trials make us stronger and challenges stretch us to places we have never been before…so if you look at life as an adventure and each obstacle you face as a mountain to be climbed, you will feel a sense of hope and accomplishment instead of the usual self-pity and despair!




7. If you are raising children with special needs, GO with their disabilities instead of fighting them. I am not suggesting just giving up and not trying to help your children to reach their potentials, but I do think that we often get bogged down in trying to “fix” them and in doing so we can miss the blessing that they bring to us just as they are. Enjoy your children with AND without autism (or other challenges), and remember that they are children FIRST no matter what their diagnosis may say. You can relieve a lot of your stress if you let go and let God in this area. It is not up to you to make them better (as I have believed for so many years), but to provide the tools that they need to reach their own personal best along with the Lord’s help. Pray more and worry less!




8. Last but not least, model the behavior that you want to see in your little blessings. Yes, I know it is easier to tell them “do as I say and not as I do,” but we all know that children never listen to this nonsense, don’t we? It is hard to know that your very life is a living testimony to your dear ones, but that is the absolute truth. If you have a bad moment and blow your witness, don’t despair! Just take a deep breath and start over THAT INSTANT being the role model that you want your children to follow, glorifying God in your actions and speech!

I hope these tips will be helpful to you on your journey to “stress free” parenting…Okay, so that doesn’t really exist I suppose, but you will make your life a lot easier if you have a game plan to follow. God bless you and your precious family and may He give you His peace as you go about your day!